A New Year

It's a new year - now I just need a new attitude. Depression is something that I have battled for many years now. I can go a year without any problems, and then BAM. It hits. I wish that there was some pattern that I can trace it back to, but alas there is not. The only good thing is that after dealing with it for so long, I have a good idea of what I can do that will help me reduce the affects of an episode. Which leads to my new years resolution (of sorts).

First let me say that I hate resolutions. I relate it to tattooing a boyfriend or girlfriend's name on your body - it is immediately doomed for failure. So I usually don't make them. Since I know that I am in the early stages of what may turn out to be a really nasty depressive episode, I feel that I need to do something. So what the hell am I blabbering on about? I am getting my butt back into the gym. I am going to get back into my 5 night a week routine. The endorphine rush will definitely be a help in the fight against depression.

Before I got sick, and then lazy, and then broke my damn finger, I was in a wonderful place in my life. I was going to the gym 5 nights a week. I felt good because I was losing weight, I was sleeping better, I was feeling better about myself, and I just felt happy. Feeling sore after a good workout was the best feeling. I wasn't drinking very much, I was doing more with myself, and quite frankly I was more confident.

I have already made one big change that will help me get back - I quit drinking. I haven't had any alcoholic beverages at all in the year 2006. I realized that I was in a rut. My social life consisted of going to the bar so I could talk to a bartender I had no chance dating. I wasn't eating healthy - a diet consisting mainly of chicken fingers, french fries, and Coors Light. I was sick of every one cracking jokes about "my bar" and how much I drank. There is more to me then my ability to drink a lot. So I just decided to not drink. I'm not going to sit here and say that I had a problem, or that I will never have a drink again. (I can quarantee that I will have one on my birthday!) I just won't have every social situation revolve around drinking.

So with my schedule cleared of wasting time with my ass on a bar stool, my ass will be found in the gym. Because when all is said and done, I will look good, I will feel good, and that is all that matters.

So Happy New Year!!!