Funny - history does repeat itself
So I have been emailing my friend Rudy through myspace all day today. I needed to tell him that I found one of our classmates, JJ, from Fordham. I passed on the info of where I found him and also let him know that I haven't attempted to contact JJ at all. Quite honestly, I have no idea what kind of response I would get fom JJ, so I am more than a little reluctant.
We all met freshman year, we were all in the same dorm (or residence hall - whatever). The girl in the room next time mine, Crazy Bitch, met JJ and they started dating. Needless to say a day didn't go by without drama between them. Crazy Bitch and I bonded slightly because we were both from Long Island and we had similar experiences growing up. We weren't all that close at first, but we would hang out every now and then. Over the course of the next two years, we would become closer. I didn't realize at first why we were getting so close, even though the reason was right under my nose.
What I didn't, or wouldn't, see was that no one trusted Crazy Bitch, nor could they be bothered with her (self-inflicted) drama. As a result, other people avoided her, and by default they avoided me as well.
Over the course of our sophmore year, we became very close. Crazy Bitch would hang out and the usual topic of conversation was JJ. It wasn't that big of a deal, the three of us would hang out all the time, unless of course JJ & Crazy Bitch were fighting. Then she would cry to me about everything that was wrong in her life. This continued through the ensuing summer, when their relationship ended when Crazy Bitch had her second pregnancy scare. (Two points: First, when your only source of protection is a tissue accidents are bound to happen. Second, I think she was making it up to get attention from anyone who would give her attention.)
So we start our junior year off with a bang. Crazy Bitch and I were in the same suite together, and we and our 6 other suite-mates decided to throw a party. Foreshadowing alert! We didn't know any of our suite mates since they were a year younger than us and we were last minute addition to the suite. So the invite list is a big mix of people, including JJ and his crowd. Even though Crazy Bitch and JJ were not on speaking terms. When the party started to wind down, everyone decided to head over to the local bar, affectionatley referred to as Slumni. I however stayed home and attempted to clean up. We discovered that one of our suite mates, Red, hooked up with someone that night and didn't come home.
Over the course of the year, JJ and Crazy Bitch got back together and I realized just how psycho Crazy Bitch was. It culminated shortly after it was discovered that Red had slept with JJ after that party we had in the beginning of the year. At that point Crazy Bitch's jealousy and insecurity came roaring the surface. She wouldn't trust JJ at all, even though, technically they weren't dating at the time nor did Red or JJ know the others story. One night after a particularly brutal fight, Crazy Bitch called the bar in Brooklyn that JJ had hung out in when he had gone home. After about 10 minutes or so, she was able to get it out of the bartender that JJ had been there and that he had hung out with a girl. (Gasp!) Of course she needed to confront him immediately. So she called him up and told him that I had done a little investigation and found out that he hooked up with someone. He was livid and immediately demanded to speak to me. So she handed me the phone with no warning of what to expect. As soon as I said hello, JJ let loose calling me every name in the book. I looked at Crazy Bitch, handed her the phone, and walked out of our room. I didn't come back for hours, and I never talked to her again. Which was interesting when you share a 10 x 12 room.
The idea that someone who was supposed to be a friend could sacrifice you to save their own hide is amazing to me. I discovered that she would probably push me in front of a bullet, instead of taking it for me. It's almost surprising that this was the straw that broke the camels back. I didnt really react when she convinced all of our roommates that I was stealing from then - it was her. Or the time she asked if my mother, who happened to work for a doctor, could have a fake death certificate made up for her since she used a dead relative as an excuse to get out of a final. (Although I think it was genius of the professor to ask for a death certificate.)
The down side was that in order to fully extracate myself from Crazy Bitch's world, I had to avoid some of my other friends. Casualties of war unfortunately.
And of course, this wasn't the first time I had a toxic friend. The other one was someone who I befriended in the 3rd grade. It took my until the 8th grade before I extricated myself from that one. (In case any one is wondering, her initials are ME.) And I always thought I was a good judge of character... hopefully I have gotten better.
We all met freshman year, we were all in the same dorm (or residence hall - whatever). The girl in the room next time mine, Crazy Bitch, met JJ and they started dating. Needless to say a day didn't go by without drama between them. Crazy Bitch and I bonded slightly because we were both from Long Island and we had similar experiences growing up. We weren't all that close at first, but we would hang out every now and then. Over the course of the next two years, we would become closer. I didn't realize at first why we were getting so close, even though the reason was right under my nose.
What I didn't, or wouldn't, see was that no one trusted Crazy Bitch, nor could they be bothered with her (self-inflicted) drama. As a result, other people avoided her, and by default they avoided me as well.
Over the course of our sophmore year, we became very close. Crazy Bitch would hang out and the usual topic of conversation was JJ. It wasn't that big of a deal, the three of us would hang out all the time, unless of course JJ & Crazy Bitch were fighting. Then she would cry to me about everything that was wrong in her life. This continued through the ensuing summer, when their relationship ended when Crazy Bitch had her second pregnancy scare. (Two points: First, when your only source of protection is a tissue accidents are bound to happen. Second, I think she was making it up to get attention from anyone who would give her attention.)
So we start our junior year off with a bang. Crazy Bitch and I were in the same suite together, and we and our 6 other suite-mates decided to throw a party. Foreshadowing alert! We didn't know any of our suite mates since they were a year younger than us and we were last minute addition to the suite. So the invite list is a big mix of people, including JJ and his crowd. Even though Crazy Bitch and JJ were not on speaking terms. When the party started to wind down, everyone decided to head over to the local bar, affectionatley referred to as Slumni. I however stayed home and attempted to clean up. We discovered that one of our suite mates, Red, hooked up with someone that night and didn't come home.
Over the course of the year, JJ and Crazy Bitch got back together and I realized just how psycho Crazy Bitch was. It culminated shortly after it was discovered that Red had slept with JJ after that party we had in the beginning of the year. At that point Crazy Bitch's jealousy and insecurity came roaring the surface. She wouldn't trust JJ at all, even though, technically they weren't dating at the time nor did Red or JJ know the others story. One night after a particularly brutal fight, Crazy Bitch called the bar in Brooklyn that JJ had hung out in when he had gone home. After about 10 minutes or so, she was able to get it out of the bartender that JJ had been there and that he had hung out with a girl. (Gasp!) Of course she needed to confront him immediately. So she called him up and told him that I had done a little investigation and found out that he hooked up with someone. He was livid and immediately demanded to speak to me. So she handed me the phone with no warning of what to expect. As soon as I said hello, JJ let loose calling me every name in the book. I looked at Crazy Bitch, handed her the phone, and walked out of our room. I didn't come back for hours, and I never talked to her again. Which was interesting when you share a 10 x 12 room.
The idea that someone who was supposed to be a friend could sacrifice you to save their own hide is amazing to me. I discovered that she would probably push me in front of a bullet, instead of taking it for me. It's almost surprising that this was the straw that broke the camels back. I didnt really react when she convinced all of our roommates that I was stealing from then - it was her. Or the time she asked if my mother, who happened to work for a doctor, could have a fake death certificate made up for her since she used a dead relative as an excuse to get out of a final. (Although I think it was genius of the professor to ask for a death certificate.)
The down side was that in order to fully extracate myself from Crazy Bitch's world, I had to avoid some of my other friends. Casualties of war unfortunately.
And of course, this wasn't the first time I had a toxic friend. The other one was someone who I befriended in the 3rd grade. It took my until the 8th grade before I extricated myself from that one. (In case any one is wondering, her initials are ME.) And I always thought I was a good judge of character... hopefully I have gotten better.
posted by Shannon @ 10:13 PM
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