Whatever

I am so done. Things suck right now. I went out on Saturday to celebrate my birthday. Not much of a celebration if you ask me. I was very disappointed. Oh well. That seems to be the story of my life. So whatever. I am done. I invite people to come celebrate with me and they don't show up. Some were home sick. I understand that. But what I don't understand is how my so-called friends just ignore me. It's just a birthday.

I've come to the realization that in my life all I have ever wanted on my birthday is for someone to care about me. Someone to make a big deal out of it. But no one ever does. One time in my life did someone truly make a big deal out of my birthday. That was when all of my friends got together and threw me a Sweet 16 since they knew that my parents wouldn't. It was the best party of all time and it was a true celebration. But that was all I get. Oh well.

But I guess it just comes down to not actually having any friends out here. Hell, I can't even seem to hold onto my friends back east. Ray seems to have slipped off into oblivion again. We haven't talked for a while, but I can at least cut him some slack since he works strange hours and he is taking care of his dad. Thats fine. Ravi? I don't know what the hell is happening there. I've called him and left him numerous messages and still have not heard from him. He got engaged - do you think he told me about it? Nope. He had an engagement party over the weekend. Did he tell me about it. Again no. That just hurts to think that my good friend is making big changes in his life and I don't even know about them.

I give up....