A little Monday night paranoia
I have no idea what is going on with me lately. I am crying at the drop of a hat for no reason at all. And it makes no sense at all.
Just a little backstory for you, I have suffered from episodic depression since I was in high school. Basically it is something that I have learned to live with for the past eleven years. It was especially bad during high school and college, being partly responsible for my cutting, almost failing out of college when I couldn't get out of bed, and various episodes of mild paranoia/panic attacks. But (with the exception of the panic attacks) since I have been living in Las Vegas all of my symptoms have lessened. Until now. I just don't get it. I thought that all my "bad periods" as I call them, had links to drama in my life. But there really isn't any drama right now.
Here is the other thing though. In December of 2001 I went to the gyno, where they discovered that I had polyps. This was some cause for concern, since left untreated polyps can be a precursor of cancer. After they biopsied the sample that was taken in the office, they diagnosed me with endometrial hyperplasia with atypia. This basically means that I have an imbalance of estrogen & progesterone (too much estrogen, not enough progesterone), which causes my uterine walls to thicken. The "atypia" refers specifically to abnormal cells in that lining. So anyway, when they found the atypia the decided course of action was a dilation & curettage (D&C). A D&C is when the doctor forces (ouch) your cervvix to dilate by gradually inserting ever increasing instruments that stretch it open, then they scrape the excess lining out of the uterus using what I refer to as the really big spoon. (D&C's are commonly used during abortions, which is where you may have heard the term before - not that I am implying that you have had an abortion - just that you haven't been living under a rock and therefore may have heard the term.)
So, on Friday December 21, 2001 I took the day off of work to have a D&C. (Why did I do it so close to Christmas? Well, my boss at the time was a complete bitch and she didn't want to give me anytime off, so since I had off Monday and Tuesday anyway due to the holiday I just took advantage of it.) The day before I called the doctor in a panic since I got my period. To my surprise my doctor told me that it was actually better that I did. This is due to the fact that when you have your period your cervix dilates a little and therefore mine wouldn't have to endure too much forcing.
Surgery went fine and once I got home and had something to eat I was in fine form. The only bad part was that they wouldn't let me leave until I used the bathroom. In a bedpan. In the recovery room. With people all around. And only a flimsy curtain blocking me from view. That was NOT gonna happen. After a while they moved me into the outpatient recovery area, where they at least let me use a real bathroom. (For those of you who have not tried - peeing in a bedpan is nearly impossible - there is something to be said for having your feet on the floor.) And then once I proved that I could pee I was released.
There was a point to this backstory which relates to the original story. And that is that when I went in to get my results I asked my doctor if the unbalanced hormones could have factored into my depression and mood swings. He said that they are completely unrelated. I don't know. I really wonder if it is possible, but then again I barely passed biology so what do I know? All I do know is that I need to get this stuff under control. And this blog helps.
Just a little backstory for you, I have suffered from episodic depression since I was in high school. Basically it is something that I have learned to live with for the past eleven years. It was especially bad during high school and college, being partly responsible for my cutting, almost failing out of college when I couldn't get out of bed, and various episodes of mild paranoia/panic attacks. But (with the exception of the panic attacks) since I have been living in Las Vegas all of my symptoms have lessened. Until now. I just don't get it. I thought that all my "bad periods" as I call them, had links to drama in my life. But there really isn't any drama right now.
Here is the other thing though. In December of 2001 I went to the gyno, where they discovered that I had polyps. This was some cause for concern, since left untreated polyps can be a precursor of cancer. After they biopsied the sample that was taken in the office, they diagnosed me with endometrial hyperplasia with atypia. This basically means that I have an imbalance of estrogen & progesterone (too much estrogen, not enough progesterone), which causes my uterine walls to thicken. The "atypia" refers specifically to abnormal cells in that lining. So anyway, when they found the atypia the decided course of action was a dilation & curettage (D&C). A D&C is when the doctor forces (ouch) your cervvix to dilate by gradually inserting ever increasing instruments that stretch it open, then they scrape the excess lining out of the uterus using what I refer to as the really big spoon. (D&C's are commonly used during abortions, which is where you may have heard the term before - not that I am implying that you have had an abortion - just that you haven't been living under a rock and therefore may have heard the term.)
So, on Friday December 21, 2001 I took the day off of work to have a D&C. (Why did I do it so close to Christmas? Well, my boss at the time was a complete bitch and she didn't want to give me anytime off, so since I had off Monday and Tuesday anyway due to the holiday I just took advantage of it.) The day before I called the doctor in a panic since I got my period. To my surprise my doctor told me that it was actually better that I did. This is due to the fact that when you have your period your cervix dilates a little and therefore mine wouldn't have to endure too much forcing.
Surgery went fine and once I got home and had something to eat I was in fine form. The only bad part was that they wouldn't let me leave until I used the bathroom. In a bedpan. In the recovery room. With people all around. And only a flimsy curtain blocking me from view. That was NOT gonna happen. After a while they moved me into the outpatient recovery area, where they at least let me use a real bathroom. (For those of you who have not tried - peeing in a bedpan is nearly impossible - there is something to be said for having your feet on the floor.) And then once I proved that I could pee I was released.
There was a point to this backstory which relates to the original story. And that is that when I went in to get my results I asked my doctor if the unbalanced hormones could have factored into my depression and mood swings. He said that they are completely unrelated. I don't know. I really wonder if it is possible, but then again I barely passed biology so what do I know? All I do know is that I need to get this stuff under control. And this blog helps.
posted by Shannon @ 10:57 PM
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